She unhurriedly pulls her head out of the blanket. Slowly, she tries and reaches for her phone. She can’t seem to remember when she fell asleep. The comforter is warm and somehow takes her back to the serenity of home. She sits up at once alarmed just because the phone seemed lost under all the layers. She turns restless and keeps pushing through the clutter on her bed. Finally, there’s a gasp of fresh air. She finds her phone, but it’s dead. Being the impulsive stubborn that she is, she immediately puts her phone on charging.
Have you ever wondered or pondered of given a deep thought on a term called “Memories”. I am a strange creature and for me i can actually see or feel when i am making memories. When i am talking to my friends i actually look around and mark things and after few years i remember them with all those marking i made and trust me thought Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart. like totally!!
I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance BUT nothing written above int his para is actually applicable. I myself was never able to do that. I kept going back in every corner of memories i made…. Here’s a glimpse of something from my memories
“Don’t sleep early today”
Ashton: “Ok any reason? or you just enjoy talking to me more than usual today? Ok :) i’ll stay up as long as i can”
“I enjoy it more today”
Ashton: “Sorry i am so boring the other days”
“Why are you smiling so much”
Ashton: “You do that to me”
“Glad and good for you”
Ashton: “Just for you? you saying I dont’ make you smile a lot?”
“You do more than i do”
Ashton: “I will change that”
Ashton: “I have a surprise for you”
Ashton: “Maybe a bottle of wine”
“I will give it back, i hate wine”
Ashton: “Maybe i am driving my car to India”
“it takes 4 months”
Ashton: “Can you tell, i enjoy messing with you ;)”
Ashton: “If you get mad, i will get you some flowers :) (Red Roses) Sorry no red tulips this time princess”
“Pink roses, those emoticons are red, i like pink”
Ashton: “red rose, pink tulips – that’s all emojis let me do :(”
Ashton: “they don’t let me put your favorite”
“I don’t know, manage it anyhow”
Ashton: “i will call the emoji comapny”
Isn’t it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle–it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It’s not an act of bitterness. It’s an act if self-preservation. It’s not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?
Someone ones told me “We seem so perfect together and you too know that no matter what, no matter how much or little we talk during the day or week, or month even; i still love you” and i am not losing hope
And then, she falls asleep. She is with him in their happy place. And suddenly, this world seems more real than what she has been living in for the past 124 days. He is happy. She is complete.